Quarter-life crisis
You did the things you were supposed to do, or so you thought. You went to college (or further), you landed a decent job, and you have some great friends. Even if you mostly have it together, a part of you is wondering: What am I doing with my life?
A “quarter-life crisis” sounds dramatic, but it isn’t always. Many aspects of your life may be great. But in some way, you’re reassessing who you are, what you’ve accomplished, and where you want to be in life. Asking big questions like these can super stressful and anxiety-provoking. It can also contribute to feelings of hopelessness, burnout, and even depression.
Below are some of the most common themes.
In your Professional life…
Feeling trapped or unfulfilled in your chosen career path.
Getting a “good job,” even your dream job, but discovering it’s too stressful or just not for you.
Feeling like everyone else around you has the job stuff figured out, except for you.
In dating or relationships…
Not knowing exactly what you want from dating, or your love life in general.
Being torn about what type of relationship (or lack thereof!) or family structure is the best fit for your needs.
Knowing what you’re looking for, but having trouble making it happen.
Having people in your life you can count on, yet still feeling isolated and lonely.
In your inner life…
Not being able to shake the anxiety or low self-esteem that follows you everywhere, no matter how much you achieve.
Experiencing anxiety and inertia when it comes to decision making. Thinking in circles about a big life decision, or alternatively, avoiding thinking about it because it feels too stressful.
Struggling to set boundaries with other people (family, bosses, etc.) and to identify your own wants and needs.
Finding in general that transitioning to adult life, or coping with a specific life transition, is harder than you expected.
Generally having a hard time dealing with uncertainty.
You’ve probably heard folks say that our generation had it easy (“participation trophies,” yay!) , or that we’re entitled. Don’t listen to them. As you may already know, we grew up during a really hard time, and the world is only becoming more chaotic. Wanting to make things better in life doesn’t make you “entitled”—it’s part of being human.
You may also remember the intense emphasis placed on external achievements growing up: standardized test scores, college admissions, and other milestones. While striving to meet goals is important, focusing so much on a destination without considering the journey can lead to a disconnection from our true selves and what we genuinely desire and need.
“Adulting” usually doesn’t have the structured timelines and clear milestones that school provided, which leaves many launching adults feeling unmoored and anxious.
How I can help
Connect with your values: If you’re feeling lost or unfulfilled, it may be because your life situation now is not fully aligned with what you deeply, truly value. In our sessions we’ll explore what really matters to you and your own heart—not to your parents, or your friends, or society in general.
Find a better path: I’m not going to tell you to quit your job and join the Peace Corps. In fact, it’s not my job to tell you what to do or how to think about your situation. Nor is it to provide you with answers and quick fixes; if fast and easy solutions existed, it wouldn’t be a quarter life crisis. My role is to support you as YOU work through your dilemma, and then identify and make the changes you want, for yourself. You’ll have a space to talk through or clarify what you actually want in life, and how you’ll get there. That could mean making a big change, like ditching your current job or ending a relationship that’s not actually serving you. It could also mean keeping the job or relationships you have, but thinking and acting differently while you’re in them.
In our work, you may also explore how your past relates to your current situation, or work on healing from traumatic experiences that are keeping you stuck.
If you’re thinking about getting started in therapy, feel free to contact me for a free consultation.